


It Starts Just Where the Light Exists

by blueruin



Series: A Song for You [5]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 12:50:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17960879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueruin/pseuds/blueruin
Summary: The title is from "Blue and Yellow" by The Used, on which this story is loosely based.This is a birthday gift for Lex, who is one of the sweetest human beans in the universe. Hamberdey! <3





	It Starts Just Where the Light Exists

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alnima](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alnima/gifts).



> The title is from "Blue and Yellow" by The Used, on which this story is loosely based.
> 
> This is a birthday gift for Lex, who is one of the sweetest human beans in the universe. Hamberdey! <3

Where are you?

When are you coming back?

I miss you.

A friend of a friend said that you would be at the airport today. I didn’t care, so naturally I dropped everything and drove straight here. I’ve been waiting for hours, but you never showed up. You were nowhere just as you were everywhere, and every minute that passed by without seeing your face – your hair, your hand, even just a glimpse of your silhouette or a tattoo – was sheer agony.

Why did you leave?

I know why, and I know I’m partly at fault, but why did _you_ leave?

Or I guess what I really wanted to ask was: why did you leave _me_?

Everything has been different since you’ve been gone. The shapes of the clouds, the taste of red gummy bears, the smell of cigarette smoke, the caress of the ocean breeze, the sound of my own voice. Even the stars don’t shine as bright anymore. How did you manage to do that? Did I sneeze and a part of my soul escaped to find you? Would you even recognize it if it did? Did you catch it and keep it in a box for safekeeping? Is that why I feel so empty? Is that why I keep hearing your voice? Is this how it feels to love and be loved and be broken? Is this how it feels to love you and be loved by you and be broken over you?

We were like blue and yellow, they said. Conflicting colors that somehow work together. Obviously you’re blue because you’re just so damn good at being cool and broody, aren’t you? And obviously I’m yellow because you did say that I was the sun to your moon. You’re so fucking cheesy. But I loved that about you anyway.

Love.

Present tense.

Because it’s true, isn’t it? I still love you even though you left. Even though I lied and said I didn’t anymore. Frankly, my dear, I will never stop. Because as much as it pains me to admit, you’re it for me. The moon to my sun. The blue to my yellow. The shapes in the clouds. The taste of red gummy bears. The smell of cigarette smoke. The caress of the ocean breeze. The quiver in my voice. The fucking stars.

You have this idea in your head about the perfect partner, like someone with a sharp wit and a kind heart. Or someone with beautiful hands and a twisted sense of humor and an excellent taste in music. Someone like this, someone like that. But you were never just this and that. You were nothing like I envisioned in my head, yet you were everything I didn’t know I was looking for. To me, you were perfect. You were my person. Still are.

It just sucks that I only realized that after you left.

You were right in front of me with a question in your eyes and a tremble in your hands, and I didn’t do anything. I should have done something. But I didn’t. And I still haven’t. But I hope you know that I’d _rather waste some time with you_ than spend hours with anybody else.

So here I am, stuck in this godforsaken airport, waiting for you. Always for you. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now. You are the sliver of light in this bleak world. The moon to my sun. The blue to my yellow. The shapes in the clouds. The taste of red gummy bears. The smell of cigarette smoke. The caress of the ocean breeze. The quiver in my voice. The fucking stars.

So this is how it feels to love and be loved and be broken. This is how it feels to love you and be loved by you and be broken over you.

So I’m here, and I’ll wait.

And we’ll start _just where the light exists_.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wish to talk, send me a note on [Tumblr](https://smoke-flowers.tumblr.com) and I’ll reply. I promise.


End file.
